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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
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Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
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I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
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A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
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If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
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Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
A hen is only an egg痴 way of making another egg.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
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Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
A hen is only an egg痴 way of making another egg.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/29/(Sun) 03:57
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